Where Have You Been?

Alienation, Revenge, Loneliness, Hope, Desperation, Blindness, Betrayal, Lust, Secrets, Lies, Risk, Bravery, Eternity, Denial, Foolishness, Self-Preservation, Pride, Mistakes, Blindness, Affirmation.

Love is lost and so are memories, vengeance is sought and denied, characters meet but fail to connect, secrets are kept and regrets shared.

One is too proud to say the words and running away from it and ended up in absolute solitude pretending not to care.
One is being hurt so deep that she lives in constant agony and denial just to make it a little easier and all she ever wanted to hear is the beautiful lie since she can't handle the truth.
One is wishing to accomplish something before he leaves this world and also to get distracted by the the fact that he has been betrayed by the one he loves most.
One is simply a manipulative woman who refuses to work hard to achieve what she wants but to prey on the weakness of men who feel sympathetic towards her.
One is, against his better judgement, a careless and irresponsible man constantly searching to replace the one that he can't get only to hurt so many other people along the way.
One is an immoral person that in the end she lost both the one she loves and the one she is supposed to love.
One was on the verge of selling himself out to the temptation of money and fame but turned back just in time to be true to his hedonistic self before he lost himself completely.
And of course, there is the one who played the game of spite and pride who thought she was the winner but only to come to the tragic realisation that she may in fact be the one who ultimately lost as she ended up with nothing.

Eight characters in one story. Each representing a part of us. Everyone of us could relate to a part of the story, if not even entirely. Ashes of Time, how I wish I have done a dissertation on it. Well, at least I am glad to know one of the people closest to me did, and I could live vicariously off that fact.

Friday the 13th, yet another one. I can't hardly remember if anything significant ever happened on a such a day.

Parents just have this amazing ability to make you feel that small and that bad about yourself. It's like nothing you do is ever good enough or big enough. No dish you cook tastes good enough or no spot in your place is clean enough for them. Or even, no matter what you have achieved in life is never up to their expectations. They may not be out to get you intentionally, but the little things they say or comments they make are just about enough to tick you off.

Ugly Betty is sweet and funny and crazy all rolled into one and I s'pose that could be said for the new person in my life and it's been all good so far but I do know that I have been a tad aloof when in comes to certain things and that I am trying my best but not necessarily succeeding in spending more time together as I have just been so busy with so many different things, both in and out of work.

Sleep is a luxury nowadays too and maybe as a result, my mood can swing like a pendulum gone crazy and this is no good at all.

The highlight of a typical working day is that cheap coffee 'round the corner in the arvo. How sad is that? I know better now than to be bothered by the compounding viciousness, the unhealthy competition and the vultures at my back.

Well, at least I have a timeline now, sort of.

Sitting, waiting, wishing. I guess that's all I could do for now. I have done a lot these first four months of the year already and I just have to take it slightly easier now, whether I like it or not, and see how my course will run. Seriously, why do we always find the things we can't have the most perfect and desirable?