Hang The Blessed DJ

So people do what they feel like doing, what they have to do, and it seems like they will do it. There is not always a reason for everything that we do, but it seems like we always want to find out why all the time, regardless if we are the one doing it or if someone else does it. I have learn not to ask why, either way. I have only come to know this and to actually apply it in the past year or so. It may not necessarily be the best policy to adopt, but it sure makes life a lot more simpler and more in equilibrium.

There is no reason why I am still hanging around, I am surprised at my own patience even. But of course, people do what they do and wherever their inspirations lie at the moment. It's not doom and gloom at the moment really, there is still a glimmer of hope and optimism in it just yet. It could be better, I don't deny, but then again, doesn't that apply to everything in life?

People with major issues and hang-ups and mental episodes should not be let out at all, to inflict agony to others and inevitably dragging someone down with them. This is no doubt a fair notion to have, but maybe it's a little too judgmental and harsh? I am learning to ease up a little on this notion, to be a little more patient and understanding. How many hours have I spent wondering what I am getting myself into? Is it worth my while investing in this relationship? To sum it all up, the burning question is, is it healthy for me?

The self-protective side of me would badly want to walk away at this very instance, but the more sentimental part of me would think that it's all not so bad and that I should not be too quick and extreme in making a decision.

After all, haven't I always been searching for the one person who admires Salinger and appreciates Wong Kar Wai films? A person who is even more into books and movies than me and to challenge my knowledge and intelligence and creativity in every way? A person whom I can talk to till we go blue in the face, and a person whom I want to share my time and hopes and fears with?

I have found the person, in a way, and we have spent many amazing hours and days together, months even. But of course, the bad always supersedes the good and it goes one full circle and back to the good (if we are lucky) and then a few more moments of the bad again. Isn't that the typical course two people have to run when they are together?

So yes, at this stage, I shall not analyse too much. I try my best not to at least. We do come from two very different worlds indeed. An artist and a scientist, a hippie versus a yuppie wannabe, basic practicality as opposed to an impeccable packaging. Sometimes, most times, I do wonder how the hell we ended up crossing path and even sharing a part of the way. It is a scary yet somewhat amazing thought. I am excited and fascinated by it, but at the same time intimidated and feeling vulnerable over it.

And so the story goes on, and I should not say too much to jinx it at this stage.