I'm home! Or am I?

I s'pose this may seem a tad corny but clearly, I've just come to understand (and feel) the song "Homesick" by The Finn Brothers fully just two days ago, even though I've been listening to that song quite frequently for the past few months. It happened when a friend asked if I were 'homesick' for Melbourne, as in missing the friends and places and everything I enjoy back there. I actually didn't think much of it at that moment but it hit me suddenly that evening that she might be making references to the song, maybe even making a dig at me for my new-found obsession with all things Finn. It turned out that she wasn't and that she just happened to use the word 'homesick' with inverted commas and all when asking if I were feeling strange being back here.

Still, that got me listening to the song carefully again and it impressed me to no end how appropriately those words relate to how I am feeling right now.

"Homesick
For the people that I live with
Homesick
For the spirit I'm missing
Homesick
For the country that I'm living in"

...just to qoute a few lines. Nope, I'm definitely not having a bad time here at home. In fact, I've had a pretty fantastic time so far with mum and dad and catching with some of my closest friends doing stuff we enjoy so much like shopping, pigging out and sharing a few (too many in fact) drinks and doing some silly dancing in a bar. It's just that I do feel strange at times, especially when I'm having some time by myself. I could be in a shopping mall, in a pub, on the train or simply just walking down a busy street. I don't s'pose I could describe the feeling entirely but I could sum it up by saying that I feel like an outsider, like a tourist even, right here in my own country.

So what gives the strange feeling then? Why would I be missing a city which is not even my hometown? I s'pose the only logical reason I could come up with is that most of my growing up leading to the ultimate development of who I am today was done while I was in Melbourne, away from home. My habits, my ambition, my beliefs, my independence and even my quirks and annoyances, were all moulded into shape somewhat solidly during those times. I don't want to say that I've been "Aussie-fied" or anything, because that would be too pretentious and may sound lame even, but it's just that I'm pretty comfortable with my life in Melbourne in a way, be it socially or professtionally. Maybe I'm so used to my life there that it has become the norm for me, and that intrinsically that's how I percieve the "norm" to be at this moment in life. Hence, maybe that's why I do feel a bit strange to be back here, even though I shouldn't be, since this is the very place I grew up in and am so familiar with.

Of course, I do not want to over dramatise things and make myself a total pest by being ill-adjusted and all that. I am sure the people around me will be unpleasantly affected if I do. Nope, that's not the way I want to go. It just that this whole idea on how one develops a bond and appreciation for a place intrigues me to no end. What is it that makes a place so seemingly beautiful and charming, that one would go back for more incessantly? Is it the people, the climate, the culture, the food or the memories that the person holds within himself? For me, although I am not absolutely certain, I s'pose it would be people and memories. Without sounding too sentimental, for some of the firm friends I have made and the things I have achieved or experienced these past couple of years in Melbourne, I will never trade them for anything in the world.