Wish I Could Offer You A Ride

It’s been like forever since I last wrote an entry, or maybe it has indeed been like forever already. After all, I felt like I have been out of Collingwood for a while now and I must say I am not missing it at all. There is not a second in the entire day that I even remotely think about that place. It’s another chapter for my stint here and I won’t be re-visiting it anytime soon.

I also toyed with the idea of getting my dream car but the idea was sparked off and suppressed all within a week. Funny how I moved from one plan to another right away without giving myself any break in between. I s’pose I am just being impatient or it could also be that I am trying to squeeze in as many things as I could before this year ends (as if there hasn’t been enough already). I would love to if I have more time to sus things out but I just don’t have the luxury of time on hand currently to do that and to consider things through. For this year, there are only 2 weeks left in terms of my time in Melbourne. I know it’s just a car and it does not equate to signing my life away but the whole idea can still get pretty overwhelming, especially when the car I have in mind is not exactly a friendly one in terms of price. I need more time to see it through and don’t want to have buyer’s remorse down the road. I s’pose this little adventure will have to be added on to my list of to-do things for next year, if I even have a list on hand right now.

However tiring it may be, I must admit I am liking the new place, despite the little glitches and design faults it may present here and there. I had a strange little dream just the other night. I can’t say I remember exactly what it was about. I did though, the next day for a fleeting moment, but that evening when I tried to recall it, it seemed to have completely slipped out of my mind. In any case, it was not an entirely bad one at all. All I can remember right now is that it was a tesseract of events that involved the new house, the car I was going to buy, and a person I still think of every now and then (and happens to drive the same car, same colour even). I should not be giving it much thought, really.It will only make me miss the person unnecessarily.

I must admit my nerves are fairly shot at the moment. Work is crashing down and the politics are just compounding. I am barely holding up but I know I have a job to do and a living to make. I don’t want to get too bothered by anything and I don’t want to fly at anyone. I don’t remember when was the last time I had a night with more than seven hours of sleep. I s’pose I won’t feel too at ease until everything with the house is settled and when my work is done in Chicago. I have not given much thought on how I want to spend my few days of leisure there and I have not thought about Christmas presents at all either. I know all these are secondary but it just goes to show what frame of mind I am in currently.

It was kinda disappointing that I did not manage to get a car and drive it soon enough, but I know I should not be whingeing about such a banal issue, because after all, there are many people out there who are more troubled by real serious issues, like I just spoke to someone who could not afford rent and has been two weeks late, and someone who will be out of job soon, or that my own brother might go to jail soon for drunk driving and assault but that’s because of his stupidity and it’s another (boring) story altogether. So the bottomline is, I should just learn to be a little bit more patient and just wait for the next batch of cars to come in, which is April next year. Without sounding too much like consoling myself, it should not be too painful a wait considering I will not be in Melbourne much these few months ahead and also, I don’t have the luxury of driving to work since I work right here in the city, so it won't make much of a difference on my day-to-day life.

I should get some rest real soon, and I am aiming for this weekend, before my duper-long haul flight on Monday morning. I better make the most out of this week then, if I am not too distracted, that is.