The Party Has Ended

After a party-of-sorts at my place (thrown together at the last minute because of our barbeque that didn't happen due to bad weather) that consisted of too much roasted meat and alcohol, my holidays here at home have come to an end. I hate to be a party pooper to end the party just slightly after midnight, but I have to wake up in four hours to catch my flight. If given a choice, I would have spent the entire night (and morning too, for that matter) with my mates. My stupid cold-bastard self was at work once again by insisting that this party wasn't meant as a farewell for me but just another reason to eat, drink and be merry. I have mentioned this before, I hate farewells, and I can't handle saying goodbye. Even when I was walking them to the gate, I was still being totally silly by saying stuff like "see ya soon, hope you lose some weight when I see you next time", "we'll drink again soon" and "I won't miss you guys" and all that... when in actual fact, I will probably miss them like crazy and have something personal and special to say to each of them before we parted. But all I did was just standing there like an idiot grinning and all while trying to play my emotions down.

I have had a good break this time, but I s'pose there never seems to be enough time. I know I have spent a fair bit of time with my mates and my parents, but I just wish that there is more though. On that note, I must say I have done much with mum and dad within this limited period of time. I have listened to what they have to say, to understand how their lives are like all this while I have been away, to feel for the problems they are facing and most importantly, to assure them I still have them on my mind constantly (even though I am like gazzillion miles away). However, I still wish I could have done more and having said that, I must admit I am quite worried for them sometimes but I just have no clue on how (or rather, how is it remotely possible within my capability) to help. I don't want to be like my brothers who just moved out and not give a hoot to them anymore. I s'pose I really have to give that a serious thought.

One incident that really puts a damper on my mood of returning to Melbourne is the shit that I have to deal with regarding my flatmate. She pulled the whole just-to-let-you-know stunt on me regarding her boyfriend's moving in to our apartment (and I must say I'm not the biggest fan of that guy) instead of at least asking me first. How indignant do I feel?

I have to constantly remind myself that I should not get too affected by this incident because I have other more significant matters to deal with, such as looking for a new apartment and planning for my work for the year ahead. Also, I should channel my energy to other people instead of my flatmate whom I should stop caring for. Maybe we should have remained as just flatmates instead of friends all this while. Things would have been much simpler I guess. At least I wouldn't have felt so strongly towards it.

In any case, I should stop whinging and face up to it and be all prepared to go home tomorrow evening (after a somewhat long flight) to face her. I don't know how I would react if we do have to thrash it out, but one thing's for sure, she's really pushing it this time and I reckon I have had just about enough of her already.