Home For The Holidays

All the presents for my friends here have been given out, and the work year is completed. Just a couple of hours of piss-farting around work tomorrow and I'll be on my way to my one month break back at home. It will be great, except maybe the downer may be that I might run into my brother who will be home for the holidays too. I don't know if he is thinking of the same time as me, or if he is doing Chinese New Year instead. In any case, I am pretty paranoid about it, and I am really toying with the idea of cutting my holidays shorter just so to avoid him, but is it worth going through all the trouble to do that? That is, re-organizing my flight and my work schedule and all that.

Yes, I will never be able to get over my brothers, both of them. I have never really hated anyone, except the two of them. I bloody detest them, loathe them to the core. I have never wished anbody dead either, as in like truly wish, but for them, I s'pose I won't mind too much if they were to disappear from this world tomorrow. In fact, for the sake of the overall well-being of my parents and the society too, for that matter, they should jolly well be gone. I resent the fact that I can never truly shake them off. I have never been surer of any relationships before, but for the one between me and them, I know for sure that I am not willing to improve anything at all. I know it's not really the most appropriate time of the year to be cursing anyone, I should be all forgiving and jolly, but like seriously, can they just bloody die?

Other than this disturbing piece of news, I don't think I have any deep feelings with regards to my going home this time or rounding up this year. I reckon I have done that enough throughout the year already. I don't even miss anyone really badly anymore. It seems like my feelings for people gets diluted each time I go away. It may as well be this away, so that I can enter the new year with no remnants of issues from the previous year. Nobody has to do any thinking or missing on either side, just the way I like it to be, just as long the other side is thinking the same way too. I hope they won't be like my mum, who still harbours the crazy idea that I might want to reconcile with my brothers.

As for friends back home, I just hope they can sort things out with their lives and between one another as well. I hope they understand the importance of having old friends who have known you forever and to acutally treasure that luxury. Heck it with the 'fun quotient' and just be grateful that we are friends. Enough of the silly misunderstandings and the petty feuds already. If I can do that, I don't see why they can't, because after all, I was never the wisest and most sensible one in the group.

I should get some sleep now. I hope I don't dream of my brothers though.