Hungry Heart

...and that's the title of the song I heard by Bruce Springsteen first thing in the morn' when I turned on the telly. It's somewhat appropriate and kinda summed up how I was feelin' this morn' when I woke up. Feelin' tired and empty and hollow after a big weekend, with a jazz gig and a trip to Daylesford and scooting off to Geelong and the inevitable rounds of drinks and silly dancing and all. It's just one of those days that I feel that something's missin' and that I have absolutely no inspiration to do anything significant and major. Sorta cruised through the day doing a bit of housework and playin' with my guitar and an early Japanese dinner to round up this totally meaningless and dreamy day.

The events of last weeks and the workload have certainly taken a toll on my sense of balance. Getting caught up in too much conversations with too many people and working too hard may seem like a good way to forget about myself for a while, but it seems to work the reverse for me this time. I am more sober than ever and more in touch with my inner thoughts and emotions, and before I know what is happenin' or what to make out of them, I realised I am actually all alone in the crowd.

Meeting my friends for dinner I thought it will be a good way to yank myself away from my state of mind, but conversations were drained and I s'pose I was partly responsible for it. I wish I was more enthusiastic, but it's hard to find the strength to when I am caught up in this strange mood. I wish I don't have to write such a sombre entry too, it's not something glorious to make public at all.

I know not all sleep is wasted, but I just hope my dreams don't have to be alcohol inspired all the time.