Just A Brief Thought

"Everybody comes to Hollywood
They wanna make it in the neighborhood"

The song keeps ringing in my head somehow. But in actual fact, I have been listening to heaps of Mariah (yes, I am still pretty much a huge fan of hers despite the shit others give me for it) and am thinking about the shopping and the cupcakes and meeting up with May in NYC more than anything else.

It just crossed my mind that it's been exactly one month since, oh well, that night at St. Kilda. Like I said before, somehow it felt like so long ago. I am not dramatic or crazy like that to remember it particularly, it just hits me while lying in bed waiting for sleep to take over. Nonetheless, it's the reason why I log on now to do an entry.

In retrospect, I didn't know how I could actually walk away from something that I was into. Or rather, to put it specifically, to cut someone whom I feel for off. It's a very hard thing to do, especially for a person like me, who lacks self-control and tends to live for the moment. But strangely enough, I did it.

I still don't know if I did the right thing, or if it really has to end this way. But in any case, it's too late now. If I give the person a friendly buzz or something, it will probably turn out all strange and wrong, however innocent the actual intention is. Such is the complexity of human relationships. Nothing is taken at face value anymore. Assumptions and suspicions tend to just muck things up.

Some crazy, competitive people at work will be eyeing the work trip to Chicago at the end of the year, and they willl be dying to find out who will get to go tomorrow at the meeting. I don't care, since I will be sun tanning back in Singapore then. Still, it will be interesting to see them behaving like a bunch of girlies in a beauty pageant waiting for the results to be read out to see who is making it to the next round.

"Push the button
Don't push the button
Trip the station
Change the channel "

(repeat 4 times before fading out)