Don't Get Mad, Don't Be Mean

It hit me like a truck just today, and I wonder what caused the delay really. Maybe the shock was so great initially that I was in a daze and now I am finally in touch with the reality of it all. It's like an accident victim suffering from post-traumatic syndrome. I have taken the first step to turn down any meeting with my friend in the near future.

After acknowledging it, and telling a few friends about it, it doesn't seem so hard to tell it like it is anymore. Before today, I could not even talk about, or think about it even, without feeling all sick in the stomach and wanting to just puke my guts out, literally.

It hurts, a lot. I am not going to deny that. Anyone who knows me could tell I am indeed falling for this friend this time. The times we shared, however short-lived they were, were good memories, but it's also the very same memories that hurts heaps.

Since last February, this is the first time I have felt so strongly for someone. Too bad it has the same ending though. Same occupation, same car, same love for Krispy Kreme, same ending.

I need to get out of this vicious cycle.