Do I Know You?

So I pushed my luck one more time today, it's not so much on pushing my luck maybe, but more on being tired of running. I can run anywhere but I can't escape from within myself. So I use the bridge the I have always used to come home. So there was that split second encounter again. The corners of my eyes saw an all too familiar figure, but I just turned away and never even looked back. How many of such encounters do I need before I could fully be convinced that I should walk away, literally? Painful as it may be, I let it all slide past and took it that it wasn't real. It didn't feel real because nothing between us was even real to begin with.

I don't know anymore, but I do know timing is indeed everything. The right person may be presented to you, but it takes the right place and the right time to have a happy ending. It sounds cheesy, and all of us have probably heard this a thousand times over, but it's definitely not up to me to dispute that. I am becoming a firm believer on this one.

Was it better when I was younger, I was asked. I answered yes, but was it really? There are many different things to look at. I certianly did not have much worries in this aspect, but there were always other things. I never felt comfortable in my own skin and there was the issue of self-confidence and individuality. These two are no longer an issue now and more doors have certainly opened for me since, but where do they lead me? I didn't have to work then and that was good. But work is one thing that keeps me sane and makes me insane at the same time. A love-hate relationship certainly exists there. I am disliking my boss more and more that's for sure though.

So I have decided to stay on. I am not regretting on that one (just yet) but the recurring question is always there. This morning was one of those bad ones where I just wanted to stay in bed and not have to deal with anything. I am feeling the miss for a person too much. To quote from Hemingway, sleeping is good, because life tends to fall apart when one is awake. I am beginning to appreciate that.